i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
