Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
