I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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