you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
