I must be too annoying 4 u.
She said her name was "party"
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
