There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
