Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
