oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
