This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
