My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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