erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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