he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
