she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
