omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
