At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
