K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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