At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
