just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
