K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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