The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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