and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
