Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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