Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
