found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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