her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
