You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
