AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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