The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
