ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
