so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
