you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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