Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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