well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Let's get the cat blown out
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
