Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
too bad you live with your parents still
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
