quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
