I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
