it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm bleeding and have questions
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
