Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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