super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
