this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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