something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
