oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
did i just pee glitter
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
