i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I didn't notice because vodka
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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