Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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