just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
