If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
