The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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