Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
