she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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