he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
